Ezoic
“Three days tops and I’m back home,” he continued. “You hold down the fort here like always, right?”
Hold down the fort.
Ezoic
As if my entire existence was just some fort where he temporarily dropped his belongings before walking away whenever it suited him.
But I smiled like I always did, because that’s exactly what was expected of me after eight years of marriage.
Ezoic
“Of course we’ll be fine,” I said, forcing my voice to sound normal even though something felt off. “We always are.”
Quasi crouched down in front of our son, placing both hands on Kenzo’s small shoulders in that performative way he always did when he wanted to look like the perfect, engaged father for any observers.
Ezoic
“And you, little man, you take good care of Mama for me while I’m gone, all right?”
Kenzo didn’t answer with words.
He just nodded silently, his eyes fixed intensely on his father’s face with an expression I’d never seen before.
That look he was giving Quasi…
It was as if Kenzo were desperately trying to memorize every single detail, every line, every feature of his father’s face, like he was looking at Quasi for the very last time and knew it somehow.
Ezoic
I should have noticed that look.
I should have felt something rip wide open in my chest right then and there.
But we almost never recognize the warning signs when they come from the people we love most.
We think we know them inside and out.
We think eight years of marriage means there are absolutely no surprises left to discover.
Ezoic
How incredibly naive I was.
Quasi kissed Kenzo’s forehead, then leaned over and kissed mine with the same mechanical efficiency.
“Love you both. See you soon.”
Then he turned smoothly, grabbed his wheeled carry-on suitcase, and walked with confident strides toward the TSA security checkpoint.
We stood there frozen in place in the middle of the swirling chaos of goodbyes and reunions, watching him disappear into the shuffling line of travelers heading through security.
Ezoic
When I finally couldn’t see him anymore in the crowd, I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go home,” I said to Kenzo, my voice coming out weary and flat.
All I wanted in that moment was to drive back to our house in Buckhead, kick off the uncomfortable heels I’d worn specifically to “look the part” of a successful man’s wife, and maybe watch some mindless Netflix until sleep finally dragged me under.
We walked down the long airport concourse together, our footsteps echoing on the polished floor.
Ezoic
Kenzo was even quieter than usual now, and I could feel the tension in his little body traveling straight up his arm into my hand like an electric current.
“Everything okay, sweetie? You’re really quiet today even for you.”
He didn’t answer at first.
We passed closed shops with metal security gates pulled down for the night, glowing flight information boards, people jogging frantically toward last-call gates with Chick-fil-A bags and overstuffed backpacks.
The automatic glass doors that led out to the parking deck were already in sight when Kenzo suddenly stopped walking.
Ezoic
He stopped so abruptly that I almost tripped over him.
“Kenzo, what’s wrong?”
He looked up at me, and God, I will never forget that look on his face for as long as I live.
Pure terror.